Ayahuasca International • Inner Mastery International
Disturbing reports associated with Ayahuasca International
Ayahuasca International (originally Ayahuasca Internacional) is also known as Inner Mastery International S.L.U.
- Official ICEERS statement: Cofán speaking out against Varela’s activities and they say he has had absolutely NO training through them, nor any of his facilitators with Ayahuasca International; that he forged documents and has lied about many associations, such as having any sort of blessing from this indigenous group of true Colombian shamans or their peoples.
- Sexual abuse testimony, and reported unorthodox practices with his small daughter around often; Cofán speaking out about his illegitmacy, as he claims to have been blessed and trained by these people; Varela’s own psychologist, who sounded a bit unorthodox himself, reportedly pushing for sexual exploration as well, is said to no longer be by Varela’s side due to Varela’s lack of ethics.
- Very interesting article detailing many astounding and unsafe practices of Varela, such as oﬀering the tea to everyone without any sort of screening or preparation, has highly advertised an illegal practice for monetary gain, including discounts for children; it is questioned where he sources his brew and whether it is in fact ayahuasca; certainly Varela’s commercial efforts are terrible for sustainability of these sacred medicines.
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Warning to anyone thinking of working with these people
I've been to several Inner Mastery retreats across Europe over the last few years and have honestly never had a bad experience with them. They are kind and friendly, they vet everybody thoroughly, the accommodation is split male and female and is very comfortable, the houses are beautiful, the food is delicious, and everyone seems to be having a productive, spiritual and beautiful experience. These retreats helped me change my life for the better. I hope people look beyond the bad press, a lot of which just seems to be rooted in fear. I have nothing but love and gratitude for these guys.
This review is in two parts as it is too long. I did 3 ceremonies with Inner Mastery. The 1st 1 was a one off and I had a very good experience, it was an amazing journey. This led me to sign up for 3 days over new year this year. They were running an 11 day retreat with people coming and going. One day, 3 days, some people staying for the full eleven days. I went on the Friday which was supposed to be the 1st night of a 3 session retreat, (I can't say ceremony as what they do is far from ceremonial). On the Friday morning I woke with a cold starting, I took a cold remedy without thinking then texted the 'Ireland director' to ask if it was still OK to take the Ayahuasca after this, she assured me it was fine. I went in the evening to the house where they hold their sessions. My cold had worsened by now but I was assured that this was just my body beginning to heal pre session. I drank the medicine and had an OK journey, nither particularly good nor bad, it was led by a Mexican guy who seemed to be able to manage the energies alright. Physically I was getting sicker as the night went on, it was becoming apparent I was ill with more than just a cold. When I got up on Saturday I informed the woman who is running the Ireland show that I felt I needed to see a doctor so I was going to go home and go to see the out of hours doctor. This organisation has a house in my home town so this was easy to do. The 'Ireland director' told me to come back afterwards as it is quite OK to drink with antibiotics...... When I got to the surgery the doctor told me that I had a severe respiratory infection and needed super strong antibiotics. I went home, went to bed and stayed there for 2 days. On the Monday I was feeling a bit better so I called this woman and she assured me it was fine to come back to the retreat. I take full responsibility for the fact that I went back. This is where my real problems started...... I did a session that night, it was against my better judgement but I wanted the convenience of having the mother a 10 minute drive from where I live. The Mexican man had left that day and that evenings session was led by a 28 yr old girl with no idea what she was doing, I actually overheard her say that she was very nervous, maybe this was her first time leading? Whatever. Please see second review for the rest of the story
Again I take full responsibility for the fact I ignored my instinct and drank the medicine. There were only completely untrained, unskilled people in charge. The 'Ireland directors' 10 year old son was present the entire time. That poor child, the horrors he has seen and been exposed to. Anyone who has been to an Ayahuasca ceremony knows it ain't pretty! Anyway, for whatever reason I had a really bad time, I know this is the luck of the draw, with Mama Aya you never know what she has lined up for you until you're in it! But dear God! I was left on that mattress alone, no support, no one to help me through. I have done ceremonies before with a shipibo shaman from Peru and that man was a maestro, he was like a conductor, controlling the energies, instantly aware if you were in difficulty or distressed and he was on it immediately! Not so with Inner Mastery. You sank or swam alone..... And the 'Ireland director' walked around the room with this smirk on her face. I think she thought it was serene and Madonna like, but all I saw was a smirk. And her poor son! People purging, crying, laughing, screaming, he saw it all. And madam 'Ireland director' was looking at her 10 years old son witnessing this. Anyway next day finally came and I was still out of it, I kept slipping in and out of the mother's realm. I tried at one stage to leave, I knew by now that this was a really bad setup but I was in no condition to drive. After another few hours I again tried to leave, I got to my car but was unable to to drive. I sat in it for an hour before someone noticed I was still there and came and asked if I was OK. This is when I physically collapsed, I was unable to walk or talk coherently. This poor guy who had come to see if I was OK had to half carry half drag me across the car park to the house. I became hysterical and refused to re-enter the house. I spent about 15 minutes on the ground outside the house before I calmed down enough to go back inside. I knew I was going nowhere that evening. They took me into the room where the sessions are held and lay me on a mattress and wrapped me in blankets. I was a complete mess. When that evenings session started the 'Ireland director' called me to take more Ayahuasca! I was unable to stop crying, I couldn't walk or talk and this narcissistic woman wanted me to drink again? I simply said no thank you, I don't want any. She actually tried to coax me into taking "just a little sip". Again I said no thank you. Even though I hadn't drank that night I went through another night of hell. It was the same as if I'd taken a full dose! Again, I was left alone, not one of the facilitators came near me, though one or two of the other participants did try to comfort and aid me. The next day I was still slipping in and out of it but less so. I was unable to leave yet as I still couldn't drive but I was a little bit more coherent. Madam 'Ireland director' again tried to persuade me to stay another night and drink again. I got myself together enough by about 9pm so that I could leave but I still had trouble driving. I got to the main road and called my friend. I had to leave my car, she came and got me in a taxi and took me to her house. I had a full on mental breakdown and was off work for four months trying to piece myself back together. I've only recently returned to work. As I've said before I accept full responsibility for going there, for drinking when I was feeling ill, then returning and drinking when I was on strong antibiotics. No one held me down and forced me to drink. But these people have no idea what they are doing, they have no experience or training. They have no idea of how to help someone in distress or having a difficult journey. They have zero screening process and actively encourage you to make no changes to diet pre aya session (I refuse to use the word ceremony with these people). They advertise on Facebook and I actually spoke to some people at the retreat that had never heard of Ayahuasca, they thought they were going to a fast track personal development retreat! I am just about back to normal now but I am sure that it is down to 20 years of personal and spiritual work that I have done. Without that I dread to think what may have become of me! Please, please please stay away from this organisation and the people involved with it, they are only in it for money. They are very dangerous and really have no concern for the people attending their retreats. Ayahuasca is not a personal development tool, it's a doorway into other realms and in my opinion and from my experiences you need someone who knows what they are doing to help you navigate the journey. Again, and I can't state this strongly enough, avoid this organisation like you would the plague! They are a catastrophe waiting to happen, don't be the one it happens to
I've wondered over the last year how I actually ended up going to Inner Mastery's retreat in Waterford Ireland as it's not the type of thing that I have ever done before, but I was at a stage in my life were I was a bit lost and unfulfilled and was coping with the death of my mother and all the usual trimmings of modern life that make us feel less than we feel we should do. But as fate would have it I landed down to the retreat with high hopes and and open mind. When I arrived myself and a handful of other willing participants pretty much let ourselves in and were ushered into a small dining room and left to our own devices until somebody can and showed us to our room ( a small room with around 8-10 bunk beds in it). There was an air of mystery about it all and the participants were all open, honest people who wanted a quick fix to the woes of their lives and were (like myself) prepared to pay the 650 or so euros (the cost for 3 days) alongside around 120 or so euros per additional treatment that we each respectively bought. I opted for 3 sessions of Kambo and a session of Bufo along with the 3 nights of Ayahuasca. So all in, it cost me over £1000. That is a lot of money for anyone who has a simple job, but the promise of a happier life afterwards was understandably appealing so I thought that it would be money well spent. After we each returned to the dining room after packing our bags away, putting our shoes at the door and having a cup of tea, we were individually summoned to a small room were two of the "facilitators" took some details, an advance payment, and were sold (in true retail fashion) whatever extra medicines we wanted. I recall a few vaguely medical questions being asked but nothing that you wouldn't get asked for in other lesser situations such as applying for certain jobs etc. After that we were ushered into the room that was to be our ceremony room and apprehensively positioned ourselves on the mattresses that were laid out for us alongside the obligatory vomit buckets etc. the Facilitators one of whom has already been mentioned in a previous review in this section (The head hauncho) and one or two other facilitators (all women) began to carry out the usual group ice breakers that you'd expect and gave us the usual speel about mother aya and consciousness and all that you'd expect in that type of situation. Then the lights were put out and each of us in turn went up to receive our Ayahuasca. I didn't really like that we were almost walking up to a kind of shamanic alter and given the Ayahuasca in the same manner that us Catholics would receive Holy Communion from a priest. I felt that there was something egotistical about the way it was delivered and that in itself made me somewhat cautious. After everyone took the Aya, we all sat on our beds and waited for it to kick in, which for me simply didn't happen. Everyone else in the group were clearly feeling the effects and were laughing and crying and all the usual stuff that you'd imagine. I had a 2nd helping after around an hour but it didn’t affect me very much if at all. There was music playing through some speakers from a laptop and every so often the facilitators blew white sage and santo palo smoke at us and occasionally gave us Rapeh (which I love). It was not an unpleasant evening but after a short while I fell asleep and woke up when it was all over. I slept on the mattress for another couple of hours and then was given Kambo around 8am (which didn't make me sick or feel anything in particular). It was a strange experience and I was intrigued by it all and approached it with an open mind. At around 11am, myself and anyone who had paid to take Bufo or any of the other participants who wanted to silently watch those who did returned to the ceremony room. I decided to go first with the Bufo and it completely took me right out of my body, passed some strange cosmic blur (which I defined as being my life’s mistakes), which I then absorbed t and was violently ill and vomited out what I felt was all of my life’s shit after which point I turned to vapour which eventually collected in some cosmic ethereal realm and then collected back into myself after which point I rolled around the floor laughing and feeling the happiest that I ever have. It was amazing! While this was happening there were facilitators playing music, tapping a drum and blowing sage at me which felt quite nice really. After that I went upstairs, lay down for an hour, had some in the dining room and joined out group facilitation session during which time only the previous night’s Aya experience was discussed, which I found disappointing as I had just traversed the cosmos and was trying to make sense of it all.
The facilitation sessions were your typical group therapy kind of thing with lots of people sharing and trying to make sense of the previous night’s trip for want of a better word. I didn’t have much to share as I had slept through most of it and felt nothing from the brew at all. When I raised this it was quite quickly swept under the carpet and the discussion moved on. Later on that night took a similar format to the 1st night with the Aya being administered in the same quasi communion like manner. This time the session was led by one of the other facilitators and I gleamed from the whisperings that I observed that it was her first night leading an ayahuasca ceremony. There was music being played on a laptop and I suppose the whole idea was to provide some sounds to help bring it all on etc. On the 2nd night there were some of the trainee facilitators present who were taking ayahuasca as part of their training. I didn’t really like that they were there as I hadn’t met them as such and it felt uncomfortable. Not that that was an issue as again, the Ayahuasca didn’t affect me and I fell asleep and woke up in the morning to have my 2nd session of Kambo to which I reacted much the same as the first time. After that there was another blast of group therapy type thing (which is great no matter where you are or who is taking it). Some aspects of it were a bit strong and unpleasant. One of the guys who was talking about enjoying seeing the visuals around him when he was in the bathroom and loving it was told by one of the facilitators that he should to go to a room with “the rest of the shit” because that’s how he felt about himself which seemed to me seemed to me to be a bit over the top. I felt that the facilitator misjudged what the participant needed and simply didn’t know enough about him to decide what style of approach would work for him. I think that she felt that she intuitively knew what was right which seemed very conceited to say the least. Personally I got a lot out of being open and honest within a group of people who all wanted to overcome their personal issues and move forward with their lives, however, I could have organised that kind of thing as effectively for myself for free. Later on that night was my last ceremony and this time there were a lot more facilitators present (so many that the room was far too cramped, which was unfair for paying guests) and there was a lot more ego massaging going on amongst them. I felt somewhat uncomfortable and was quite relieved that it was my last night. This time I had a lot more Ayahuasca which did affect me, but not to the same extent it did everybody else. I’m not sure if it was the placebo effect or not as I really wanted it to work as I had spent so much money, but I had some interesting thoughts and imaginings. The last night irritated me as one of the male facilitators in a dodgy pair of David Lee Roth spandex bottoms was convinced he was a bird and was rolling around making bird mating sounds which given that I was nowhere close to being that out of it irritated immensely and I kind of wanted to go and tell him to shut to F..k up before I plucked his feathers and opened a big can of whoop ass on him, but out of general politeness and laziness I resisted the temptation. At any rate, I was happy to see the night pass. The next morning I had my last session of Kambo which made up for the lack of effects of the other two days. I literally swelled up and looked like a frog with a big rubber lip and googly eyes etc. I also was as sick as dog and felt like death for about an hour afterward. So, that the Kambo did what I expected it to do. After a couple of hours I was given a very apathetic goodbye from the facilitators, a very heartfelt and lovely goodbye from the other participants and on my merry way home I went.
So in a nutshell the pros are: Nice participants, a chance to get involved in some group therapy, great vegan food, access to aya, bufo, kambo etc, easy to get to location and the mystery that the cosmos may present itself to you (which the Bufo did deliver on). The cons are: Smug occasionally arrogant facilitators, terrible beige music , huge egos, spandex bottoms, inexperience, cultish tendencies and behaviours, very costly for what is essentially a bunk bed, some vegetables and some drugs, regular sale pitches to become a facilitator yourself, no medical practitioners present except for once and that person was a participant who had paid to be there and lots of other small and slightly irksome things that aren’t really worth mentioning. The issue with the Child being present is a tricky one. He is a lovely well-mannered and helpful boy who is clearly very much loved, well looked after and is very happy indeed. It may not be a conventional upbringing but I personally don’t have much of an issue with that. I never once thought that he was not in a safe place. I know that there are many people who will disagree and that is fine too. I’m not here to judge and don’t feel the need to. If I had any advice to offer after my experience with Inner Mastery it would be this. Ayahuasca is cheap and easy to make. It would cost around £50 to make between 10 to 20 portions (depending on what hits the spot for you). If you have a group of friends whom you trust and are prepared to share the experience with you, then you would be as prepared as you would be at an inner Mastery retreat but with better music and more manageable egos (hopefully) than you’d experience. I wouldn’t say to people to avoid Inner Mastery, but I would say that you are your own best therapist and if you use these medicines carefully you can achieve great things without having to subscribe to an organisations philosophy. Do your research and trust your own judgment and most of all be safe!
This place is completely dangerous and I say this as a person with years of experience attending spiritual retreats and of taking plant medicines. The woman running this organisation is a business woman. Her only interest is money, and as much of it as she can get out of you as possible. Nobody on the premises that in charge appears to be in anyway trained in facilitating (as they call it) - when it should be called “holding the space“ - the space where people need to be guided through their inner journey on plant medicine & brought back safely. These plant medicines are not to be messed around with and handed out like drugs so that people can dance and scream and vomit and freak out, all while the “facilitator” plays more or less pop music on Spotify and dances around with her soulless eyes, pretending to care. I saw people seriously ill but the people in charge actively discouraged anyone from helping them, saying it was their repressed trauma that needed to come out & more or less condemned any act of friendship unless it was organised and sanctioned by them. If people want to leave, they are almost forced not to. The coercion and manipulation that goes on is disgusting. There are ABSOLUTELY no Covid regulations being adhered to in this house. People are coming from all over the country to gather (20 and 30 in a room, in close contact, with bodily fluids everywhere). I personally know people who developed psychiatric issues since they left their “retreat”. That’s because it’s not a retreat. The people who enjoy inner mastery waterford are people who take other types of drugs and they are there for a similar experience, misinterpreting what they are doing as healing. Vulnerable and being exploited by these absolute charletons. SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN
I still don’t know if it was my fault or theirs, and I kinda feel this the whole point for me. I gave trust and power to people just cause of the myth of the retreatments. I wasn’t the happiest man before I went there, but I didn’t feel crazy at least. After that single day I went there ( yes, 1day was all my pocket could afford at that time, and I ended up even being scammed and asked to pay more for extras that i didn’t know weren’t free) my whole mental health changed. I didn’t have luck with the bufo, which was the only thing I wanted to try... I didn’t let the thing work, I was scared and I felt it was due to trauma I had in the past with my first and only LSD trip. I don’t want to go too much into details about the whole course of events, but everything was pretty similar to what I read In the other reviews. The sexual part was pretty present on my side, they really pushed me into the idea to question my own sexuality, with whom I personally never had doubts. I’m not the most secure man, I struggle with my insecurities but I know what I like at least; I had no problems with the whole idea of questioning it, cause who am I to judge? But the whole way that that was processed, pushing me to feel resentment towards my mother with whom I never had problems with, or at least nothing that made me carry hard feelings towards her, like they knew better than me how I felt about her, without even knowing anything about my life, it hurt me and made me feel harmless towards the whole episode, I felt manipulated. In fact is exactly my insecure mind that led me to anxiety, to an almost identity crisis after that day. Obsessive thoughts of fear and trust issues came after that and I struggle with every person I approach now, man or woman, to feel like myself and free of expression, and that has never been the case before. Always open minded and willing to talk my soul out (timid at first but well spoken once the ice would brake) now I feel like I don’t know myself anymore just cause i gave the power of my trust to somebody else,more than I gave it to me and my instincts, and it led me to this. Before I smoked the bufo I already knew nothing was good about that place but my thirst for the experience blinded me. My first and only experience. That’s it. I don’t even know what should I advise to you, cause I don’t even trust my own words now, but this how I feel now, and this is the result for me. I don’t blame the remedies, I wish I could have enjoyed them in a safe space, so go for it, but I hope for you you will choose wisely where and with whom you will take them.
I went there with 2 friends of mine we payed each like 900€ for 3 days they promissed us heaven on earth. But instead it turned out to be like one way ticket to hell. I don't know where i should start... There are living 40 persons in this house which called their 'community' the room you get is worse than prison you sleep with 12 people in a verry small room with no light and no heating. When we wanted to take a shower in de morning ; no hot water, no towels. When we arived at breakfast not even 1 slice of bread or sandwish was left only cold eggs. When we were finished we needed to find out by ourself that we must wash our own plates and bring it to their kitchen and do ourselfs. So my friend and i said afther the First night ayahuasca we want to skip the second day and go back home (thinking we'll recieve our money back from that day which is 230€ a day) so we came back for 3 night and wanted to give it another try. But this time it was even worst. I've done ayahuasca in several places like holland and other place in marbella but what i saw during this session i was in shock. The product for me itself wasnt even working at all . now the second time for my friend it did one night only. So before the session we needed to be in this room with 30 persons of their community lying relaxed on the mats cosy but for me and my friend there was no place she had to lay down on the marble floor and i was pushed up in a corner with my back against the window. During the 3 hours 'intergration' which they use the name for some basic class like you have in borderlineclasses or like you can see in budhism or any other basic mastermind class. Telling us that we will learn al new things and we will be happy and understand them. Come on. I was so much suffering in that little corner... afther this 'integration' was finished we were about to do the ayahuasca.. suddenly during everyone is quitly trying to get in to the roots of the product and meditating. Suddenly one of the 'teachers' was starting to do this sexual dance on the floor so scarry screaming so loud like he got murdered.. which woke me and the others up totally in shock about whats happening.. it was then allready 3 in the morning... and i said like okay im going to go sleep now (which the room was next to this room coz again i don't feel anything of the ayahuasca i was allready not feeling good since the session and i just wanted to sleep. And on a really rude way directly the guy said no! You stay on the floor. The session is still going on.. then 15 mins later i tried again i said i was really tired and not comfortable.. and again he said i say when you leave.. so again 15 minutes passed and i look to my friend which was next to me on the floor also totally in shock and i stood up and take my bag and ran out of that place , i was so scared irritated angry... Im paying almost 900 euros to be treated like a dog.. WTF . I've got several messages afther like they said i run away because of the effect of the ayahuasca that it came from somewhere deep inside of me and it needed to come out. WTF. I have never ever been treated so bad in my life in any accamondation or hotel, place, treatment,... the people are vampire energysuckers trying to manupilate you and trying to play with your feelings and emotioncontrol. Which worked on many easy victims who are lonely and naïve! You know it's not even legal to live with so many people in this place.. they even needed to put tents in the garden because there was no place for all this community people. Especially during this covid situation... so my friend and me asked our refund of 230€ Each of the day we didn't came. So not even made use of anything which was nothing if you can imagine the breakfast to start with... we even payed 150€ extra for some bofo... but no we cannot get the refund of that day. Which should be at least one thing they could do right and be correct. Please if you want to do the ayahuasca don't go there these people are really sick! It's a dirty place , verry amateuristic, a whole croocked fucking thing which must stop!!
Attended a retreat with Amalia, she was a disaster!!! She created the most unsafe space. The biggest ego I have ever encountered in spiritual healing space. She was absolutely horrible, manipulating all participants in the so called integration meetings. Twisting words to be able to say smart things. Her ego was feeding off the participants!! We did a San Pedro session where the medicin was not honored at all. It was her ”favorite medicin” but it usually doesn’t come with an effect until later she Said. So she and her partner gave all of us the medicine and then set us up for different activities regarding nothing connected to the medicin. Like we were waiting for some kind of drug to ”kick in”. Whilst the acitivites was going on the medicin started working inside me, and I had to leave the space to be able to work with the medicin and ended up alone in my room with a vomiting bucket by my self. NO respect for the medicin!!!! I did not trust this woman at all - she is comepletely and disturbingly wrong to hold such a space. Bless all particpants who got manipulated by her. She detested my light - and did really have a grudge against me questioning everything I Said about my on experience of awakening. This woman works from ego and not from a space of love and light.