Why is this ilegal!?

Shared by J9 , experienced 3 years ago.
Substance: LSD
I (33 years old) was in a forest, summertime, and me and some friends took this substance. Not all of us had tryed it before. A "friend" who got it, was a verry stressfull person, trying to make all the right conditions for this experience to happen, but not caring about he was making everyone fel with his stressed behaviour. And knowing that the people and the enviroment was important for the experience, this person wasn't making anyone confortable. But still, we went with it, because we understood (even more after the experience) that this person was doing it's best with the cognitive and emotional tools it had. One of us didn't take it, to take care of us. Total, we were 6. It was a sunny day time, we had music from playlists, easy food, paper and coloured pens and pencils, games like poi and cristal bals, colourful and confortable matresses, and nature. Like I had read, I was expecting visuals, and was afraid/cautious about having a bad trip (even because of this friend"), but no visual happened and also no bad trip, even when it got dark, and I tried having one, trying to be scared of shadows, because at the end, I would talk to them...so we would become friends, knowing this, without any answer from these shadows....just knowing. This anxious friend, during the experience, was verry transparent to see, that was verry imature, by the way that he acted like a child wanting care, atention, feelings of judgedment or beeing analysed, and putting himself 1st many times...not in a bad way...but like a child does...and you see it, and with patience and care you show them everything is ok, that is a safe place, and that we are together...then he would relax. On this experience this friend" asked a friend if she was hearing the bombs... and would look to the sky trying to hear better... she told me after. He had PTSD...we found out months after. With us, he finaly felt safe and relaxed. He was putting some musics on. It went all well, so that not everyone noticed these happenings. One of us, is usualy verry creative, and was putting music, drawing, and playing games with our sober friend. Another one of us went, not far, making mini boukets of flowers, and ofering one to each one of us. Another one, was intrigued, talking, divagating about how interesting it all was beeing. Our sober friend, was playing jambé, playing with cristal bals, and beeing soft with us, just letting us be, and showing he was there, speaking only when spoken to usualy, on his decision. We were all enjoying just beeing toghether as friends in this retriet in nature, accentuated by this substance, LSD. So, I was not having visuals, but I was discovering the world in a new perception...time was heavy, like moving slower, witch made it possible to look with a lot of atention to all that was happening with my friends, seeing their beauty so deeply, like I knew now, what they were made of. Nature was verry accepting of us there, I could feel this with all the confortable warmt of the sun and grass, and by how all the bushes surrounded us. I was heavy, not beeing able to move like normal, wanting to lay down and breath deeply, like I was breathing life ifself. Apreciating every breath, with the lightness it would bring to my heavy body. I didn't think about this, it was just necessary do lay down, touch the ground and breath, witch gave me a sensation of energy flowing trough me, as beeing still, with my breath. And feeling the ground as a confortable place to contemplate life from, while it was happening inside me and around me. I don't know why, in my mind, not trough my eyes, I started seeing a big mooving wave of pixels, in many shades of yellow and orange, knowing in my mind, that this was us and all that exists. It was impressive to watch such a wave with this knowing. Seeing that all there is is ONE. I asked in my mind, how could it be, that all beeing one, there could be people hurting other people. Without words, or language that I could identify, just a knowing, I began to look at all the waves that made this bigger wave, and I understood, that some pixles would be in the shadow made by this wave. And some would be in more lighted places of the wave, showing that for some to be in the light, some would have to be in the shadow, alternating their exposition to light and position, so that all of the pixels could experience all of these possibilities. All connected, making all of this happen, willingly. Understanding all of this, made me feel verry calm, and accepting of the place each pixel, each person, each reality, and each thing. Like, there is someone beeing unfair, so that I can call for justice and pursue it, and have this experience. So, how could I be angry with this person beeing unfair, when this person is also me, from the unity we all are. How could I be mad with this person that is giving me the chance to bee fair? It is all experience... I knew that I could feel the unfairness, but it would be useless to be angry with this person. I felt it would be more usefull to be understanding, and accepting of it's role. It was such a beautifull feeling and sight of union and unconditional love that I cryed with joy and admiration for this wonderful experience that is living. What an honour it is to be alive and experience all that we do. I always strugled with feelings of not fitting in, not understanding hunger still happening in the world, unfairness in school or work, relationships, etc... After this experience, I wondered about if there will always be unfair situations in the world, life, etc... and the answer for this, may be yes, or no... but the feeling I got, is that it doesn't matter. I felt that from that moment on, I could just breath and do nothing more, but to feel the wonder of energy flowing trough me. I knew that I didn't have to smoke anymore, because I would only need to remember how good it feels to smoke, that this plesure would be fullfiled by this memory. I didn't have to work, because I had come to life to just be. Just to exist. Not to serve. Not to eat. Not to earn. Not to anything, but enjoy. Then, I started thinking: what would my family, friends and colleagues think about a life of only breathing, what could be my decision from now on. I understood that they would be worried about their homeless, starving, non comunicating me. Thinking that I would have gonne mad. So, I decided to keep on going experiencing living my life, as I was before, but knowing and trying to never forget, that we are ONE. And that life is a wonderfull gift. I sometimes tought of suicide, because of the sadness of this world that didn't look like my home, because where I would have come from, could not have such unfairnesses. After this I would still feel sad about the same things, but not in a way that life wouldn't satisfy me. I now try to live trying to inspire people to be their best versions, by example. I still smoke, but I try to do it without guilt, because I know why I do it, and I take responsability for it. I don't do everyting right. But I try my best to be aware of what I do and why, trying to decide what is the best for most people. And I try to understand why others decide what they do decide. And not feel it as personal about their decisions as I did before. This about the "others" part, is the hardest, but I feel I'm getting better at it, everyday. I laught much more now...mainly about the ridiculousness of some unfair situations. I speak more often about what I think about them and about how we, as one comunity, can do better. And I also give a lot of importance to listening what others have to say. It's not smooth...but people around me, see with time passing by, that things could be colaborated in diferent, better, more eficient ways...even when they call it utopia. And I try to make it come true. Also in this LSD experience I understood why Pink Floyd are huge. I didn't like or understood them before... I tough they were verry melancholic.... then I understood the ride, with ups nd downs and stories and feelings, they take the listners in too... they were a wonderful contribution to this experience. Also in this experience, I felt verry connected to my friends...like we didn't need to speak to understand what was in each others minds. Particularly with one, I knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. We gave hands and enjoyed sharing these toughs and emotions by breating and staring at the sky. We cryed of emotion. Like, this shared joy of wonder flooded our eyes. I wanted her to know, that she should know that she came here (to life) to enjoy! And so she should. So I told her. Years after...she finaly is enjoying life :) As effects came down, and night came, we put blankets on us, all side by side giving confort and warmt to each other, as we all stared at the sky. Listning to music, and seeing shooting starts everywhere like never seen before...some visuals finaly 😊 Then we sleept, went back to our lives slowly the next day, and talked about our experiences in the next days, with each other, and sometimes when we wanted to add next chapters to this experience with chapters of our lives, readings, movies, experiences with this or other substances, etc. We are all still in contact, except for this one friend" that was anxious. He turned out to be an agressive person, that doens't want to do the work necessary to evolve, with whom I, latter, had a relationship with. I do not talk to this person anymore. The others do. Maybe nkt as deeply as they speak with me, but they do. And I'm ok with it. I feel that we all have our roles to play. I now, try also to trust more my instincts. This person has been agressive to other people too. So this was my story about how LDS helpedme understand life, myself and others better. I don't think everydoby should try it. And I think it should always be tried with intention. For me it's a contemplating substance. Doing it in a party, seems to me like a waste of potencial... but I do not wish to make anyone do what I think. But, by my experience, it is a wondefull tool of evolution. Of understanding that we have an amazing potencial as a species, and as components of ONE/NONE. For sure should be legal, studied, advised, and oriented. Adults should do resposabily what they chose to.
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