Best help with my addictive behavior ever
For about half my adult life I have struggled with alcohol addiction; the other half I have struggled with the born-again crypto-religious evangelism of the 12 Steps. I am 67 and have tried everything I or my counselors could suggest without achieving permanent or happy sobriety. Clearly, one week after attending a Mycomeditations retreat I can;t predict the long-term future, but I can say the experience has given me a new and more positive starting point. What I realized through the holistic interaction of the mushrooms, the great staff, my fellow attendees and the setting was that I am a person, like everyone, who has great power and beauty in me and that it can't be taken away -- so why do I give it away?? I came to see that I judge my life, not by direct contact with who I am, but by the way I see myself reflected back from other people and things in my environment - or worse, I tell myself distorted, negative stories about what I see reflected. This retreat helped me get directly in touch with myself and I learned that if I can stay in positive contact with myself, I want that feeling more than I want a drink. I drink when I come to feel worthless and useless and want to numb the negative feelings...I'm sure this sounds to any addict like what they've heard from recovery programs and counselors, and it is. The difference is that this experience caused me to FEEL my worth and that makes all the difference. It hasn;t been a magic bullet (there aren't any), but if I can make the insights of my retreat week an ongoing part of my life through a regular reflective and behavioral practice, I can stay in a mental and physical space that I want more than I want alcohol. I had read that psilocybin therapy has shown great promise in helping with addiction, but I really thought my expectations for the retreat were unrealistic. They were not only met; they were exceeded. I am grateful more than I can say to Eric, the staff and my fellow participants.
Number of people in ceremony: 11
There was no air con, hot water or wifi, but this was known in advance since I chose Basic and not Comfort Accommodation
Ranged from friendly and competent to bloody amazing. A couple can legitimately claim to have changed my life
We tripped in a bounded area watched over by at least five (I think more) staff. The security could not be improved upon