Again I take full responsibility for the fact I ignored my instinct and drank the medicine. There were only completely untrained, unskilled people in charge. The 'Ireland directors' 10 year old son was present the entire time. That poor child, the horrors he has seen and been exposed to. Anyone who has been to an Ayahuasca ceremony knows it ain't pretty! Anyway, for whatever reason I had a really bad time, I know this is the luck of the draw, with Mama Aya you never know what she has lined up for you until you're in it! But dear God! I was left on that mattress alone, no support, no one to help me through. I have done ceremonies before with a shipibo shaman from Peru and that man was a maestro, he was like a conductor, controlling the energies, instantly aware if you were in difficulty or distressed and he was on it immediately! Not so with Inner Mastery. You sank or swam alone..... And the 'Ireland director' walked around the room with this smirk on her face. I think she thought it was serene and Madonna like, but all I saw was a smirk. And her poor son! People purging, crying, laughing, screaming, he saw it all. And madam 'Ireland director' was looking at her 10 years old son witnessing this. Anyway next day finally came and I was still out of it, I kept slipping in and out of the mother's realm. I tried at one stage to leave, I knew by now that this was a really bad setup but I was in no condition to drive. After another few hours I again tried to leave, I got to my car but was unable to to drive. I sat in it for an hour before someone noticed I was still there and came and asked if I was OK. This is when I physically collapsed, I was unable to walk or talk coherently. This poor guy who had come to see if I was OK had to half carry half drag me across the car park to the house. I became hysterical and refused to re-enter the house. I spent about 15 minutes on the ground outside the house before I calmed down enough to go back inside. I knew I was going nowhere that evening. They took me into the room where the sessions are held and lay me on a mattress and wrapped me in blankets. I was a complete mess. When that evenings session started the 'Ireland director' called me to take more Ayahuasca! I was unable to stop crying, I couldn't walk or talk and this narcissistic woman wanted me to drink again? I simply said no thank you, I don't want any. She actually tried to coax me into taking "just a little sip". Again I said no thank you. Even though I hadn't drank that night I went through another night of hell. It was the same as if I'd taken a full dose! Again, I was left alone, not one of the facilitators came near me, though one or two of the other participants did try to comfort and aid me. The next day I was still slipping in and out of it but less so. I was unable to leave yet as I still couldn't drive but I was a little bit more coherent. Madam 'Ireland director' again tried to persuade me to stay another night and drink again. I got myself together enough by about 9pm so that I could leave but I still had trouble driving. I got to the main road and called my friend. I had to leave my car, she came and got me in a taxi and took me to her house. I had a full on mental breakdown and was off work for four months trying to piece myself back together. I've only recently returned to work. As I've said before I accept full responsibility for going there, for drinking when I was feeling ill, then returning and drinking when I was on strong antibiotics. No one held me down and forced me to drink. But these people have no idea what they are doing, they have no experience or training. They have no idea of how to help someone in distress or having a difficult journey. They have zero screening process and actively encourage you to make no changes to diet pre aya session (I refuse to use the word ceremony with these people). They advertise on Facebook and I actually spoke to some people at the retreat that had never heard of Ayahuasca, they thought they were going to a fast track personal development retreat! I am just about back to normal now but I am sure that it is down to 20 years of personal and spiritual work that I have done. Without that I dread to think what may have become of me! Please, please please stay away from this organisation and the people involved with it, they are only in it for money. They are very dangerous and really have no concern for the people attending their retreats. Ayahuasca is not a personal development tool, it's a doorway into other realms and in my opinion and from my experiences you need someone who knows what they are doing to help you navigate the journey. Again, and I can't state this strongly enough, avoid this organisation like you would the plague! They are a catastrophe waiting to happen, don't be the one it happens to

Disturbing reports associated with Ayahuasca International

Alberto José Varela and Ayahuasca International

Ayahuasca International (originally Ayahuasca Internacional) is also known as Inner Mastery International S.L.U.

Important: Always look for motivations and many recommendations prior to choosing who to drink with!

For reports and resources concerning activities from disrespectful to unethical to downright horrible, see the following links:

  • Official ICEERS statement: Cofán speaking out against Varela’s activities and they say he has had absolutely NO training through them, nor any of his facilitators with Ayahuasca International; that he forged documents and has lied about many associations, such as having any sort of blessing from this indigenous group of true Colombian shamans or their peoples.
  • Sexual abuse testimony, and reported unorthodox practices with his small daughter around often; Cofán speaking out about his illegitmacy, as he claims to have been blessed and trained by these people; Varela’s own psychologist, who sounded a bit unorthodox himself, reportedly pushing for sexual exploration as well, is said to no longer be by Varela’s side due to Varela’s lack of ethics.
  • Very interesting article detailing many astounding and unsafe practices of Varela, such as offering the tea to everyone without any sort of screening or preparation, has highly advertised an illegal practice for monetary gain, including discounts for children; it is questioned where he sources his brew and whether it is in fact ayahuasca; certainly Varela’s commercial efforts are terrible for sustainability of these sacred medicines.
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